Wed 10 Oct 2007
The Scientific American has just posted a study explaining that mothers of sons live shorter lives. The article while completely flawed by evolutionary presuppositions is still interesting. As a mother of 8 boys I should expect to live 34X8 weeks less than mothers of girls. I wish! I can think of a thousand reasons why I will die much younger than my friends with girls, starting with the kitchen moving through the drawers and closets and ending in the bathroom.
Younger mothers of boys often stop me to ask various questions. Sunday a competent young mother was walking behind me while her small son was logically trying to badger her into getting his way. I did not butt in. But seeing me she did stop and say, “What do you do about that?” I felt so bad for her. He was 4 years away from the didactic stage! I told her she must put aside her training in logic and learn how to stand firm like a woman, apart from all logical attacks from male family members. If you try to outsmart them or out argue them you are doomed before you start. God has made you a woman and you are not bound by the rules of logic. You must not try to earn your authority over the male. Never let them think you are vying for authority. Wear you authority like a string of pearls, an aromatic elixir, a new pair of shoes.
Remember the hedgehog in Montaigne.
Remember the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
For example, your son comes to you with a request to go to a Bible study. A weak, logical mother will be tempted to think this is such a spiritual activity that no one in her right mind would say no. But you are a woman and therefore a fool. You do not think about all the things your son is telling you about the wonderful speaker and the great fellowship. You ask a few pointless questions. These pointless questions throw the seeker off guard. In the inanity of your questions the truth comes out. The seeker does not want to study the Bible; he wants to play ping-pong. Now you are in control. You can say, “Yes you may go play ping-pong because you have read Augustine’s Confessions today,” or you can say, “No way !! Have you smelled the bathroom?” When he argues, look him in the eye and say, “phooey.”
The ability to defy logic is the only way we can keep the female species alive long enough to produce more males.
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Priceless!
The young mother could be referred to Susannah Wesley’s rules or Ruth Graham, who said she believed a course in dog training was the best type of preparation for parenting.
That Kipling poem is one of my favorite
Blessings fm GA,
Dana
Comment by Dana (October 10, 2007 @ 9:33 am )
Between you, me and the internet, I do think the authors of such a study never met my older little girl. Someday I will die from a stroke due to one of her little antics.
However, I have a son. I will save your advice up in my heart and use it well.
Comment by Brandy (October 10, 2007 @ 10:35 am )
Thanks! I needed that today.
Comment by Kim (October 10, 2007 @ 1:25 pm )
Cindy,
Your comments to the young mother were terrific: God has made you a woman and you are not bound by the rules of logic. And wear your authority like a string of pearls, an aromatic elixir…
I was very influenced by feminism in my formative years, which included a smug belief that I was just as logical as a man. By God’s grace, I am recovering.
About raising boys taking years of our lives (which we can’t spare)… We are parents of four boys (21, 16, 10, 4) and three girls (24, 18, 13), all still in our house. It’s quite an observation lab!
DH and I used to say it was harder to raise boys, but we are not so sure now. Girls are more complicated than boys. Among other things are girl hormones. Last week, three of us got our periods on the same day! Most months, we girls have a few difficult conversations together, especially two of us. The ongoing demand for diplomacy and wisdom wears me down much more than the more straight-forward boy situations.
Erma Bombeck wrote about differences between boys and girls. Oldest daughter was reading some of this aloud last summer; it was very funny. Loosely paraphrased: when you call upstairs and ask the kids what they’re doing, the boys tell you excitedly about having stuffed the cat down the laundry shute. The girls just say, “Nuthin’…”
Comment by Helen (October 10, 2007 @ 1:45 pm )
Well, now I’m embarrassed about having been so personal up there, forgetting that this is not ladies only! Oh well.
Comment by Helen (October 10, 2007 @ 1:57 pm )
Oh, I concur ~ absolutely priceless advice!
I loved the example about the Bible Study. Too often I have found myself trapped in a cycle of logic where no one admits defeat and we both attempt to declare victory. Ugh! I almost always walk away from those not smelling very feminine, even if I did managed to expose their ulterior motives.
Comment by Valerie (October 10, 2007 @ 2:30 pm )
It’s ok, Helen. Men should by now know what they are getting into here. It’s their fault if they are still hanging around.
Comment by Valerie (October 10, 2007 @ 2:47 pm )
Thank you, Valerie!
Comment by Helen (October 10, 2007 @ 3:12 pm )
I agree, Helen. Nothing to worry about!
Comment by Cindy (October 10, 2007 @ 3:15 pm )
Oh, how timely!
My (nearly) eighteen year old son and I had a discussion about diabetes today and all he was learning in his Biology class.
He was debating me (at least attempting to use logic) on what my doctors had told me about how rare it was for me to develop Juvenile (Type 1) diabetes in my 40s. He was telling me it is impossible. But… I did, therefore, it is not impossible.
The problem is, he appears to KNOW what he is talking about just the same way his father does when HE tries to debate me. Sheesh…
Fortunately, I had already spent an hour this morning chatting with my daughter on the phone about the merits of various brands of wheat grinders and how to replace cinnamon in pumpkin pie. Important subjects for we women.
Life span shortens only because we get worn to a frazzle from all that uh… logic.
Comment by Brenda@Coffee Tea Books and Me (October 10, 2007 @ 3:43 pm )
So tell me, ladies, how should I go about convincing my sixteen year old son that it’s right and worthy of him to put his best energies and efforts toward taking the LOGIC class that I have signed him up for.:roll: (I hate frivolity and I have sought to avoid such merely for the sake of “doing school.”)
Comment by Valerie (October 10, 2007 @ 6:58 pm )
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
That’s what I tell my kids, anyway.

Comment by Kelly (October 10, 2007 @ 7:15 pm )
Now that I think about it, just consider the above question (for it is a question, despite the absence of a question mark) as rhetorical, please.
Comment by Valerie (October 10, 2007 @ 7:29 pm )
Priceless!
I was 36 when my last boy was born. I was so disappointed that he was a boy. I told the Lord that He knew I was too tired for another boy. I’m still too tired for him, but by God’s grace I manage. The little right-brained scamp is actually getting a classical education–from me, no less!
I like to watch the boys use logic on their father. That’s always entertaining.
Comment by Sherry (October 10, 2007 @ 9:28 pm )
Valerie,
Taking a logic class (my boys did theirs at home) has done one thing for them. Now they can point out BY NAME the fallacy in logic that either I or their father are using during a discussion. Anyone else have that problem?
Comment by Lisa W. (October 11, 2007 @ 9:38 am )
OK, that made it sound like my boys are very argumentative with us, which they’re not. By
discussion, I meant about issues of the day,
or things they’re trying to communicate about,
etc., not disagreements.
Comment by Lisa W. (October 11, 2007 @ 9:45 am )
I don’t recommend teaching boys logic for obvious reasons.
Comment by Cindy (October 11, 2007 @ 10:08 am )
I guess I missed that post, Cindy. Well, too late now!
Comment by Lisa W. (October 11, 2007 @ 10:15 am )
I can so identify with the logic issue. My daughters have NEVER mentioned that my point in an argument was irrelevant, but my sons will readily (although respectfully) shout “Red herring!” whenever they feel it necessary.
It’s mostly done in fun. However, I do agree that boys will find any reason to argue at length about anything ~ not with their father, mind you. Only with me! And is it my imagination, or does this seem to really “kick in” (and become quite annoying 8O) at around ages 12-13?
Disclaimer: I, like Lisa W., want to clarify that my sons are not rude, argumentative, and unruly. They are simply boys.
Comment by Linda (October 11, 2007 @ 3:21 pm )
LOL! thanks for the laugh, Cindy. You are *so* right!
Comment by Chris in NM (October 12, 2007 @ 10:59 am )
I don’t even like ping-pong:-)
James Rollins
Comment by Cindy (October 12, 2007 @ 6:00 pm )
Liar
Comment by Cindy (October 12, 2007 @ 8:46 pm )