Fri 11 May 2007
For good or for bad we have listed the things that make us look and feel haggard. Did I mention: Vacations, testosterone, missionary life, aging? How about shopping, dieting, blogging …..?
But what are the things that you do that help you not to look haggard? Any tips?
Frankly, I am a little hesitant to give tips because I think I often do look haggard. Does looking haggard come down to a fashion statement or is there more to it?
I am not a particularly successful dresser. I put my skirt, shirt & sandals on for church, add a little mascara and lip gloss and feel pretty jazzed up. When I get to church I am reminded that some women just know how to put things together. I might, every once in a while, add eyeliner & blush to the ensemble but you will never find me wearing facial cover make-up. What is that stuff called anyway? I would have to have a vastly different personality to be trusted to coat my face in something. I rely on a little color from the sun in the 3 good seasons of the year.
My number one tip for not looking haggard is SMILE. I don’t smile enough but I know a cheerful countenance is one of the greatest gifts a woman can give her family and friends.
My favorite make-up company is not Arbonne or Mary Kay rather Burt’s Bees. I love the Carrot Day Creme.
Light daily exercise
Lots of Water
B Vitamins
Power naps. 15 minutes with the feet elevated and eyes closed.
Prayer
Sunshine
Contentment
Well, those are a few of my tips. Take them or leave them. I am rather like Nora Ephron
“Assuming, of course, that you look in the mirror. That’s another thing about being a certain age that I’ve noticed: I try as much as possible not to look in the mirror. If I pass a mirror I avert my eyes. If I must look into it I begin by squinting, so that if anything really bad is looking back at me, I am already halfway to closing my eyes to ward off the sight.”
Now there’s a tip!!
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That’s exactly what I do–we have few mirrors in our house, and I don’t lok in them. I have trouble with the whole make-up thing because I just don’t understand why women have to wear make-up to look beautiful, but men don’t have to wear make-up and the whole standard for what looks good is different. some people would consider me frumpy. I would probably dress up more if it were easy for me to find clothes that looked decent on me and fit me well. But I just wear my basics and no make-up. I’m hoping that my “no-make-up look” will actually make it so that I look better when I’m 70 or 80 than other 70-80 year olds.
Comment by Patti (May 11, 2007 @ 10:24 pm )
mascara
blown dry hair + head band instead of pony tail
and the best cure for haggardliness in my book…
laughter
Comment by Miz Booshay (May 11, 2007 @ 11:08 pm )
Here’s a tip that I use and love. Get a washcloth really warm and cover your face for 30 sec to a min. Then re-warm the cloth and put olive oil (light is best, so ya don’t smell like salad) and rub it on your face in a circular motion until your whole face & neck are done. Wipe off any excess oil with the cloth and enjoy the wonderful feeling of clean, soft skin.
I often wear makeup and just always try to look semi-put together (nothing fashionable, just a simple skirt & top). And Cindy you’re right, a smile is necessary for looking un-haggard.
Comment by Lora K. (May 11, 2007 @ 11:12 pm )
Funny you mention a smile- recently a friend asked her kids who they thought was the prettiest mom at church. We were shocked by their responses because the mom they all unanimously chose is very plain, chunky, and simply dressed. We realized, however, that she is always smiling. And she responds with joy and delight to every child. Boy, was I convicted! Ever since I have been working on always having a pleasant look on my face.
Comment by Kendra (May 12, 2007 @ 12:55 am )
I’ve coated my face with the stuff since I was twelve years old. It’s called “foundation”.
Comment by Ruthanne (May 12, 2007 @ 1:07 am )
Kendra, There is a wonderful picture book about that very thing called “The Most Beautiful Mother in the World.” You should look for it!
Comment by Carmon (May 12, 2007 @ 1:13 am )
P.S. That would be *water*-based foundation, not oil-based, which contributes terribly to acne.
Keep in mind I was a youth in the 80s which was, as I’m sure we can all recall, a big time for make-up and hairspray!
Comment by Ruthanne (May 12, 2007 @ 1:13 am )
The 70’s were still recovering from the 60’s, Ruthanne, so we hadn’t gotten around to the big hair and lots of make-up thing. My mom and sister know to bring hairspray to my house because I don’t own any. It would probably help my hair but I am too inept to get it right.
And thanks for the word: foundation. I could not for the life of me think of that.
Comment by Cindy (May 12, 2007 @ 6:56 am )
I use foundation every day. I switch to a darker shade in the summer when the rest of me tans. I also use cover stick under my eyes and wherever my face is blotchy. I confess I reapply it in spots a couple times throughout the day. I also always wear mascara, eyeliner and blush and I powder my nose and forehead frequently. And when I go out I also put on lipstick.
I’ve been wearing that much makeup since I was around 16 years old (though I’ve toned down the eyeliner since then). The only time I stopped was during my headcovering days.
My hair is strictly wash and wear. Now that it’s cut in layers I don’t need a curling iron or hairspray. I don’t even use a blow dryer, and I do leave the house sometimes with a partially wet head.
Now that I’m out of the cult of the “I’m plainer than you and much more modest” crowd, I try to dress relatively nice each day. Alyssa is my chief fashion adviser because she’s brutally honest. Salesgirls say everything looks nice. Alyssa makes some fantastic faces if things really don’t.
Comment by Jeannine (May 12, 2007 @ 8:52 am )
I am doing a “cut and paste to Word” and keeping this where I can see it for awhile. Very good stuff!
My mother was a widow with seven children before she married my father (and I was born when she was in her 40s). She made certain both she and her children had their hair looking nice, their clothes clean (although quite worn) and ironed. She also always wore a “little lipstick” each day. Great advice.
My daughter loves the Burt’s Bees tinted lip gloss. As the mother of four children (newborn through age five), she says it adds needed color to her face and it’s all she has time to put on.
Comment by Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooksandMe (May 12, 2007 @ 9:19 am )
I used to wear liquid foundation until I recently tried mineral powders (and yes, it’s by Arbonne :)) I love it. It’s lighter and it feels nice. I always start with a concealer under my eyes and then the mineral foundation, a little blush, eye liner and mascara. Perfume always makes me feel fresh and ready for the day. I bought my favorite perfume at Sam’s Club!!
Nothing can beat a joyful, content mommy with a smile on her face! It reveals much about her heart.
Comment by Janet (May 12, 2007 @ 10:01 am )
I’ve been wanting to post about the haggard thing, but it could go in so may directions, it’s hard to pick one. I mean I have often thought about what Patti said as well. A guy can have a pot belly, blotchy complection etc. but as long as his hair cut is neat and he wears a tie he’s given a “pass”. I would never think to speak so disrespectfully of any group of men in our church.
But we don’t-also-need to make things worse by totally ignoring the way we look.
Also, some women look haggard because they just plain indulge in self pity and it shows on their face.
A lot of directions..
Comment by kerri (May 12, 2007 @ 10:22 am )
And I must say-it is a very wierd morning when I go to Carmon’s site and she has exercise and dieting tips and I came here and get make-up tips!!!
Comment by kerri (May 12, 2007 @ 10:23 am )
Janet,
I wanted to mention perfume. My husband keeps me well supplied. He would much rather I wore perfume than any make-up.
Kerri, I know what you mean because there is also the point that the DHM makes that we shouldn’t spiritualize our own choice.
I think make-up can look wonderful when expertly applied. I am just not gifted in that area. I relied on nature for as long as I could but now that I am mid-40 I am having to scramble a bit more.
Comment by Cindy (May 12, 2007 @ 10:29 am )
I do like Terra Tints tinted lip gloss. Mascara makes my eyes itch and burn, so I quite wearing that in my early 20s. Foundation just feels icky on my skin. I can’t stand it. I’m also allergic to most of it. But the mask of pregnancy never left me 8 years ago and my face is very blotchy now. While I do wear it once in a blue moon now, I’d rather spend the time it takes to put on make-up reading a book. I’m hopeless, I know.
Neither do I use a blow dryer or curl my hair. My hair is straight and will not hold a curl to save my life. I’m in the “I’m plainer than you are” crowd because I really am.:lol:
Things that make me look less haggard:
Make-up- even though I still don’t wear it often.
Tension tamer tea
enough sleep
jojoba oil gently rubbed into my skin at night before bed
being warm enough
laughter
wearing pinks or reds- actually, for me this makes almost as much difference as wearing makeup.
Kava-Kava
Spending enough time in prayer
Hugs
A good argument puts a glow on my face and a gleam in my eye.
Pinching my cheeks
I have a daughter who is allergic to peppers. Eating them makes her face glow, too. She gets beautifully rosy cheeks and a lovely sort of flush on her skin. It’s very, very pretty. She says it’s painful, like a bad windburn.
Like looking haggard, I suppose there are good reasons and bad reasons behind the unhaggard look.
I’ve got to agree with Patti, too. Most men of my age don’t really clean up any better than I do, and many of them considerably worse, but as long as their faces are washed and their hair combed nobody would dare accuse them of being ‘haggard.’ Nor can I understand why not wearing make-up is seen in some circles as neglecting my appearance.
Comment by DeputyHeadmistress (May 12, 2007 @ 12:28 pm )
The bad thing about mascara and eye liner is that it takes too much time to wash off at bedtime. And if you are having a good laugh during the day that brings tears to your eyes, the mascara ends up in places it shouldnt. Another problem with makeup is, you can’t splash your face with cold water and lavender soap in the middle of the day..one of my favorite afternoon rituals. Plus, think of all the books one can buy when not purchasing makeup
Comment by Faith Proctor (May 12, 2007 @ 12:57 pm )
“The law of kindness is on her lips…” I’ve found that if the law of kindness is on my lips, then it also shows on my face since it is in my heart. We have SO much to be joyful and thankful about!
Enough sleep, enough exercise, and enough prayer should also be on my list. Just how much “enough” is would be for the individual to determine.
Comment by Linda (May 12, 2007 @ 2:22 pm )
Good tips. From you and everyone else.
Another thing to do, is if you look at yourself in a mirror, make sure it’s low light…camoflauges wrinkles, etc.
Comment by andrea (May 12, 2007 @ 4:15 pm )
Haggard?
Eat more fish, get more sleep, take a relaxing bath, drink milk from grass fed cows and LAUGH!
Comment by granny miller (May 12, 2007 @ 7:14 pm )