Mon 5 Feb 2007
I am a bit dissatisfied with the read-aloud thread, I keep thinking of books I missed:
Farmer Giles of Ham ( the book our family has read aloud the most), and not to be missed by agrarian readers.
Cheaper by the Dozen is another book I missed mentioning.
The thing that really gets me though is that all my children do not remember all these books. It makes me want to sit down on the couch and read aloud until everyone has caught up.
The truth is that when our big boys were little boys, about last Friday, we read out loud in the mornings and at night. Our night readings were generally longer with cries of one more chapter heeded. These days we have an active home with all ages coming and going at all hours (2 of our members work nights). It is much harder to get even the younger set together to read. We are still reading just not nearly as much as in the good ole days and not in the evenings. I am determined to do better.
The changing face of a large family is sometimes hard to cope with. Just when something is working the whole logistics of the family change. Something slips through the cracks. Then one day we are all sitting around chatting and someone says, “remember when..” and I wonder why we stopped doing that particular thing. I don’t know. It is just the shifting sands of family life.
I sometimes look at families with 2 children, and think it is so different to raise your children and then be done with it. In the large family the key is to remember it is not a sprint but a marathon. My 22 yo may have been reading for almost 20 years but my 5 year old is just starting out. I can’t afford to lose interest now. It may seem late in the game to me but I could be a 29 yo mom with a 5 & 8 yo feeling that all of family life is before me. It is before me. I am not 29 but I do have little ones who need to hear books more than they need to watch Andy Griffith. I am still the keeper of culture in my family. All that said, don’t forget the masterly inactivity. It truly is a tightrope walk sometimes.
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I hear ya, Cindy! My 8yo doesn’t know *Charlotte’s Web* nor *Farmer Boy.* I haven’t read aloud worth speaking of for a long time. HOWEVER, my youngest has the great stimulation and imagination of his older siblings that THEY didn’t have when they were little.
It’s seasons in life, and though they’re certainly worth examining, they’re also just to be enjoyed as they come, like “untimely” snowstorms and azaleas in February.
Cindy Marsch
Homeschooling 18yo, 15yo, 13yo, 8yo
Comment by Cindy Marsch (February 5, 2007 @ 10:05 am )
Funny! As a mother of just two I was thinking the same thing this morning!
We have become more active in recent months and this caused me to think about what we are missing while we are enjoying new friendships and activities. Balance is everyone’s issue.
Comment by Tarheel mama (February 5, 2007 @ 10:23 am )
Tarheel,
Your comment gives me a chance to clarify. I wasn’t trying to disparage families with 2 children just discuss the logistical differences. In a way, I get a chance to try to improve this time around.
Comment by Cindy (February 5, 2007 @ 10:27 am )
The last book I read to my four older children was The Mysterious Island by Jules Verne. It was just too hard to work around the oldest two children’s work and social schedules after that.
My youngest two are much different than the older four and are still primarily interested in picture books. I really miss the years when we spent hours reading out loud together.
I am much more tired being in my forties with little ones and it takes more of an effort for me to do things. When the oldest two were little I was always coming up with activities.
It’s always strange to me when I meet people my age and they’re practically empty nesters.
Comment by Jeannine (February 5, 2007 @ 10:27 am )
I hear you. I am hoping this fall to refocus and do some of the things with my youngest three that I used to do with my oldest three. Number four I am afraid will miss some things either way. And then number eight is on the way, and I will have a whole new one to not grow weary with.
Like you, I am still reading to the younger ones, but not as much. Lord, give us strength!
Comment by Eva in AZ (February 5, 2007 @ 11:35 am )
I needed to hear this: ” I can’t afford to lose interest now. It may seem late in the game to me but I could be a 29 yo mom with a 5 & 8 yo feeling that all of family life is before me. It is before me. I am not 29 but I do have little ones who need to hear books more than they need to watch Andy Griffith. I am still the keeper of culture in my family. All that said, don’t forget the masterly inactivity. It truly is a tightrope walk sometimes.”
today. Thank you so much. While I do not have a “large” family, only four children, I do have them spread out 8 - 26. Just this last week I was realizing/feeling like I’d been short-changing the youngest a bit. Thanks for the affirmation and encouragement.
Comment by Copper's Wife (February 5, 2007 @ 2:02 pm )
“I am not 29 but I do have little ones who need to hear books more than they need to watch Andy Griffith” Oh, I wish I could publish this quote on a banner behind a plane.
We have a circle of friends who value read alouds as adults and often tack a reading on to a dinner together. There is something so “drawing together-ish” listening to good writing together.
Wendell Berry is our new Ralph Moody. We are enjoying his stories, his manly men, his love of the soil as we continue to read aloud.
Comment by Carol in Oregon (February 5, 2007 @ 3:37 pm )
When I turned 29, I had a 4 month old. Five years later, I had a 5 year old and another 4 month old, and those are the children God has chosen to bless us with. And I’m here to say that I’m really not looking forward to being done with it :(.
One son is now an adult and in college, but the second reads to us (his dad and me)! I love it. I still read aloud to him sometimes, too, and he still enjoys it at 16. I know this kid is going to be a wonderful reader-aloud when he has kids.
I also hope to do lots of reading with my grandkids, D.V. (And I do hope there are lots of them, too).
Comment by Kathleen (February 5, 2007 @ 3:51 pm )
Amen, Kathleen!
George Grant’s wife told me that she highly recommends grandchildren.
Comment by Cindy (February 5, 2007 @ 4:06 pm )
Want to chime in with Carol and Kathleen on continuing to read aloud to each other through the years! During the years we were reading to our children, they often read aloud to us, too, and they also read to each other. We continued read aloud until our kids were grown. And now I’m reading to grandchildren! My daughter now reads aloud to her 1yo son, book after book, every day. It’s his favorite thing to do, and he’s already got a little library built.
I knew an older couple who read aloud to each other every single night at bedtime until he died a few years ago. They enjoyed good children’s literature as well as anything else, and were reading through the Little House books somewhere near the end of his life.
And as for masterly inactivity, at least reading aloud is a perfect way to accomplish that *while* we do something with our children, right? As long as we don’t tell them what and how to think about the books we’re reading to them (as CM would say, we don’t come between their minds and the book), leaving them alone with the story to think their own thoughts and let their imaginations run free, then masterly inactivity is at work.
Susan
Comment by Susan L (February 5, 2007 @ 5:20 pm )
I know exactly what you mean. The evening read aloud time that was so much a part of our routine is very difficult with so much evening activity now that our older children are grown up. I had to fight that feeling of not bothering to read because “everyone” wasn’t here. Well, now “everyone” being here doesn’t happen every night or even most nights. To combat this problem I’ve started having several read alouds going -
1 or 2 for morning time when the whole school gang, plus one graduate, is here
1 for the evenings when we are home with the three youngest
1 to read to the littlest one when everyone else is occupied
This means that if I am home, then most likely there is someone I can read aloud to before bed. I just have to pick up the book that is appropriate for my audience.
Thinking about this makes me think of getting one going for the times, sparse though they may be, when all of them are home in the evening. Also I like Susan’s comments about the older couple that read to each other. I have done that with my husband and I think I may just pick that back up!
Comment by Mamalion (February 5, 2007 @ 5:53 pm )
As my daughter approaches her teens, we still read aloud, though not for hours like we used to. It can be hard to get a read-aloud in, not because we have a large family, but because there’s just so much that my one wants to do! (Reading aloud is inherently a shared activity, you know, so you need someone to read to.) I’ve taken to reading aloud at lunch because bedtime seems to sneak up on us so quickly. Our current read-aloud is *Great Expectations,* which has given me a little bit of an opening to talk about matters of the heart. I try not to overdo it, though. Usually we just laugh at the funny and endearing characters, like Joe and the Aged P.
Just because I missed them growing up, I also sometimes read “living science” books, like Henri Fabre, aloud. Not at lunch, though.
I confess that sometimes I do miss those days when we used to go to the library and check out a whole stack of picture books (Peter Speier, Thomas Locker, etc.), then pile them all on the sofa and read for an hour or two. I’m in admiration of those of you who are still reading to little ones, but I might be just a tad envious, too.
And, am I imagining things, or are there quite a number of old AOL Practical Homeschooling board people commenting today? I count at least two in addition to myself, and perhaps three.
Comment by Laura A (February 5, 2007 @ 5:59 pm )
I sometimes have a hard time reading a book aloud knowing that the WHOLE family won’t be listening. I understand that it’s just not going to happen anymore, but it’s hard to give in to the fact.
We, too, have the very active household: college classes, working, orchestra, karate, Upward basketball, Civil Air Patrol ~ all those things I said my children would never be involved in when I had only “littles”!
Comment by Linda (February 5, 2007 @ 6:50 pm )
My youngest can’t even begin to recite the Mother Goose nursery rhymes that my Olders can. What happened? But they ALL remembered and loved the Little Britches series and Cheaper By the Dozen.
Great post Cindy!
Jody
Comment by Jody (February 5, 2007 @ 11:34 pm )
Don’t worry I have two kids, adopted only 3 1/2 years ago and I feel the same way!!
Comment by Lisa (February 6, 2007 @ 8:09 am )
I agree with others that one of the frustrating things about the changing family is that we keep waiting for everyone to gather so that we can read (or have family devotions). We finally realized that what we need to do is be consistent about the time that we do these things (boy is THAT hard!) and let the big guys know that if they can or want to, to be there. Then Mom has to learn to get over it when reading Alice in Wonderland (AGAIN!) isn’t on the older guys high priority list right now.
BTW, Gaelan is studying his head off for academy, I didn’t realize how much test taking there is! He’s not looking forward to “survival Spanish” he took Russian in his homeschool years!
Comment by Margaret in VA (February 6, 2007 @ 8:59 am )
I have to say I think Survival Spanish will probably be a breeze after Russian!
Comment by Cindy (February 6, 2007 @ 9:04 am )
I have enjoyed reading Rabbit Hill by Robert Lawson to all of my kids. Another lesser known story by the same author is Robbut, A Tale of Tails. There is probably some reason why it isn’t on any lists, but we like it. I am currently reading it to my 5 and 7 yr olds.
Comment by Eva in AZ (February 6, 2007 @ 11:16 am )
Great post, Cindy. Loved your Pooh allusion. *happy tears*
Comment by Kelly (February 6, 2007 @ 12:01 pm )
Oh, Cindy, I am sad that my smiley face didn’t help to convey what my heart was saying. I thought it funny that a mother with many children and a mother with few chidren are bemoaning the same issue. NOT that you were implying that more is a spiritual issue (although it could be and that is a topic for another discussion!).
I have loved your blog as it has been such a help to me this past year in teaching my children attempting to homeschool them using Ambleside in a blanace way.
Comment by Tarheel mama (February 6, 2007 @ 12:21 pm )
I thought so, Tarheel Mama, I just used your comment to clarify in case it did sound like that to others.
Comment by Cindy (February 6, 2007 @ 1:15 pm )
Like Copper’s Wife, I too needed to hear, “I am still the keeper of culture in my family. (…) It truly is a tightrope walk sometimes.”
I sometimes feel as though I don’t know what I am doing anymore! How can it be so hard after I have done this for years? I am the keeper of the culture and it is so important to remember! It is a tightrope, but God is bigger than my inabilities.
Thank you for the reminder.
Warmly,
Kate
Comment by Under the Sky (February 7, 2007 @ 1:43 am )
As to children not remembering the books. I have come to this conclusion—and this also applies to what they’ve learned in lessons/homeschooling and on trips, vacations, past family events and activities etc.
They may not remember all the things they’ve experienced but those experiences or books they’ve heard or read have helped shape them into who they are today.
Sometimes when I realize that my kids have forgotten something that we spent time on, or money on, or a big trip or something—I just remind myself that if we had not done that thing they may not be the same person that they are today.
Who knows what influence the book had on our children?
I also have forgotten many of the fictional books I’ve read but when I read them some had a huge impact on me.
Comment by ChristineMM (February 10, 2007 @ 7:00 pm )