Comments on: Mea Culpa: Masterly Inactivity http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/ 1 Corinthians 2:2 "I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified." Fri, 09 Jan 2009 23:22:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Dana http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22707 Dana Wed, 31 Jan 2007 23:39:21 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22707 What about donating the leftovers to a shelter? That's what I did with the flowers from the reception :) Dana What about donating the leftovers to a shelter? That’s what I did with the flowers from the reception :)

Dana

]]> By: Sandy http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22376 Sandy Tue, 30 Jan 2007 21:00:15 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22376 Hey, Linda! So good to hear from you and know that I'm not alone. After I wrote the above, I remembered that "worry" is always one of those little red flags to let us know that we're not trusting the Lord. I've been ignoring this low-level internal fussiness, and yes, I'm sure it has come across as nagging - no matter how serenely wise I try to look and sound. I don't even understand why I'm worried. DD is a great girl (not perfect, but a really good kid) and very trustworthy. Anyway, I've made a resolution to stop nitpicking her life and to stop being so nosey about every detail of her thought life (to stop trying to be the Holy Spirit). When she came in last night from work and time with friends, I stopped myself from asking about everything that was said. I was so proud of myself - I only asked, "Did you have a good day?" Progress!!! She offered one funny tidbit on her own, which I enjoyed, but I resisted the temptation to psychoanalyze and then LET IT GO. Then I had short relapse this morning - maybe I need duct tape? 8O Perhaps we should start a prayer and support group? ~Sandy Hey, Linda! So good to hear from you and know that I’m not alone. After I wrote the above, I remembered that “worry” is always one of those little red flags to let us know that we’re not trusting the Lord. I’ve been ignoring this low-level internal fussiness, and yes, I’m sure it has come across as nagging - no matter how serenely wise I try to look and sound. I don’t even understand why I’m worried. DD is a great girl (not perfect, but a really good kid) and very trustworthy. Anyway, I’ve made a resolution to stop nitpicking her life and to stop being so nosey about every detail of her thought life (to stop trying to be the Holy Spirit). When she came in last night from work and time with friends, I stopped myself from asking about everything that was said. I was so proud of myself - I only asked, “Did you have a good day?” Progress!!! She offered one funny tidbit on her own, which I enjoyed, but I resisted the temptation to psychoanalyze and then LET IT GO. Then I had short relapse this morning - maybe I need duct tape? 8O

Perhaps we should start a prayer and support group? ~Sandy

]]> By: PalmTree Pundit http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22272 PalmTree Pundit Tue, 30 Jan 2007 09:30:56 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22272 <strong>57th Carnival of Homeschooling...</strong> Recently I mentioned my excitement at all the connections my children and I make in our homeschooling. It started me thinking about all the different kinds of connections we homeschoolers make. Back when I first considered homeschooling (after readin..... 57th Carnival of Homeschooling…

Recently I mentioned my excitement at all the connections my children and I make in our homeschooling. It started me thinking about all the different kinds of connections we homeschoolers make. Back when I first considered homeschooling (after readin…..

]]> By: christy http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22139 christy Mon, 29 Jan 2007 19:08:52 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22139 HMM, i'm going to have to take some time to read that. I was just talking last Thursday with another hs mom about hovering moms. And my husband has been all over me to have the boys stay busy constantly. Which makes me exhausted just thinking about it. HMM, i’m going to have to take some time to read that. I was just talking last Thursday with another hs mom about hovering moms. And my husband has been all over me to have the boys stay busy constantly. Which makes me exhausted just thinking about it.

]]> By: Linda http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22132 Linda Mon, 29 Jan 2007 18:26:55 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22132 I was just reading Masterly Inactivity and came across the section on "The Fine Easy Way of Fathers". Boy, did she hit the nail on the head. My husband is (usually) SO much more calm with our children than I am. I am always flitting and fussing about, and I'm sure he just wants to tell me to sit down. Well, on occassion he has. :? I was just reading Masterly Inactivity and came across the section on “The Fine Easy Way of Fathers”. Boy, did she hit the nail on the head. My husband is (usually) SO much more calm with our children than I am. I am always flitting and fussing about, and I’m sure he just wants to tell me to sit down. Well, on occassion he has. :?

]]> By: Linda http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22131 Linda Mon, 29 Jan 2007 18:21:58 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22131 Sandy, I am in the same place you are, with "children" reaching adulthood. I am in a complete tizzy thinking that my time with them is almost done, and I may have "left something out". I am trying to squeeze in every bit of advice I can give them, which may sound more like (ahem) nagging to them. But a wise dear friend, whose two oldest sons are grown ;), has told me how she spends more time on her knees now than ever. Do I feel that I can do more for them than God can? Can I protect them better than He can? My hope is that I will simply enjoy what time I have left with them, pray fervently for them, and add advice when it feels "natural" to do so, rather than forcing it into every conversation. We moms with "almost growns" need to keep each other in prayer. And to read Charlotte Mason. 8) Sandy,
I am in the same place you are, with “children” reaching adulthood. I am in a complete tizzy thinking that my time with them is almost done, and I may have “left something out”. I am trying to squeeze in every bit of advice I can give them, which may sound more like (ahem) nagging to them. But a wise dear friend, whose two oldest sons are grown ;), has told me how she spends more time on her knees now than ever. Do I feel that I can do more for them than God can? Can I protect them better than He can? My hope is that I will simply enjoy what time I have left with them, pray fervently for them, and add advice when it feels “natural” to do so, rather than forcing it into every conversation. We moms with “almost growns” need to keep each other in prayer. And to read Charlotte Mason. 8)

]]> By: Ruthanne http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22128 Ruthanne Mon, 29 Jan 2007 17:57:07 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22128 Actually, I don't have a problem with boys being boys. I love it when they feel free to get dirty and play tough, etc. My reference to the hyperactivity affecting the mood of the home was more in the sense of the wildness of the hyperactive one rubs off on the other ones or makes the other ones uptight, in turn making me stressed out (especially when I'm trying to train the younger, impressionable ones) then all the children see that I'm STRESSING OUT and they begin to stress out too and before I know it we all need Calgon to take us away! AAAAAAAUGGGHHHH!!! The Lord has given me a certain combination of many young personalities to love, train and deal with and I really have to work hard to achieve that Madonna-like serenity she writes about. (I don't mean to get this dialogue onto the subject of hyperactivity, it's just that that is a contributing factor to how I read this article subjectively. And just for the record, that hyperactive child and I have a very special bond and I affectionately call him my Galatians 6:9 child. Wouldn't trade him for anything. He also keeps me in stitches, he's got such a crazy sense of humor.) Enough from me for now. Gotta scoot. :) Actually, I don’t have a problem with boys being boys. I love it when they feel free to get dirty and play tough, etc. My reference to the hyperactivity affecting the mood of the home was more in the sense of the wildness of the hyperactive one rubs off on the other ones or makes the other ones uptight, in turn making me stressed out (especially when I’m trying to train the younger, impressionable ones) then all the children see that I’m STRESSING OUT and they begin to stress out too and before I know it we all need Calgon to take us away! AAAAAAAUGGGHHHH!!!

The Lord has given me a certain combination of many young personalities to love, train and deal with and I really have to work hard to achieve that Madonna-like serenity she writes about. (I don’t mean to get this dialogue onto the subject of hyperactivity, it’s just that that is a contributing factor to how I read this article subjectively. And just for the record, that hyperactive child and I have a very special bond and I affectionately call him my Galatians 6:9 child. Wouldn’t trade him for anything. He also keeps me in stitches, he’s got such a crazy sense of humor.)

Enough from me for now. Gotta scoot. :)

]]> By: Cindy http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22124 Cindy Mon, 29 Jan 2007 17:38:04 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22124 Lisa, That is so hard to communicate because it sounds like the kind of advice that I hate but those words also resonated with me. We don't want to be whiners begging for some free time but we do need to recognize our need to step back and get a different view of things. I think the fact that I was out of town with my husband when I read that chapter helped it to hit home. Ruthanne, I think it is the kind of thing we just have to be constantly reminded of. Certain children do make this a challenge. When we lived in NJ I was especially dismayed that so many mothers would visit us and tell their boys not to get dirty or not to go outside because it was cold. I think that sort of hovering is on the very worst end of the spectrum. But this year we haven't had very good health insurance so we find ourselves being a bit more protective than we were before. Why is it always so hard to find the balance? Lisa,
That is so hard to communicate because it sounds like the kind of advice that I hate but those words also resonated with me. We don’t want to be whiners begging for some free time but we do need to recognize our need to step back and get a different view of things. I think the fact that I was out of town with my husband when I read that chapter helped it to hit home.

Ruthanne, I think it is the kind of thing we just have to be constantly reminded of. Certain children do make this a challenge. When we lived in NJ I was especially dismayed that so many mothers would visit us and tell their boys not to get dirty or not to go outside because it was cold. I think that sort of hovering is on the very worst end of the spectrum. But this year we haven’t had very good health insurance so we find ourselves being a bit more protective than we were before. Why is it always so hard to find the balance?

]]> By: Lisa http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22117 Lisa Mon, 29 Jan 2007 17:24:05 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22117 I just read this chapter last week, and was struck by her advice for fractious mothers to do for themselves what they would do for their children. I often tell a child to go play outside, or to spend some time alone in their room until they've sorted themselves out. I feel guilty if I do the same for myself. I somehow picked up the idea that good homeschooling mothers never need a break from their children. I particulary liked CMs suggestions to spend a day or half a day in the fields, or at an art museum, etc. This kind of rest would, I think, truly be a restorative. Now to move this train of thought from "if only" to an actual plan. Lisa I just read this chapter last week, and was struck by her advice for fractious mothers to do for themselves what they would do for their children. I often tell a child to go play outside, or to spend some time alone in their room until they’ve sorted themselves out. I feel guilty if I do the same for myself. I somehow picked up the idea that good homeschooling mothers never need a break from their children. I particulary liked CMs suggestions to spend a day or half a day in the fields, or at an art museum, etc. This kind of rest would, I think, truly be a restorative. Now to move this train of thought from “if only” to an actual plan.

Lisa

]]> By: Ruthanne http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22116 Ruthanne Mon, 29 Jan 2007 17:22:52 +0000 http://DominionFamily.com/blog/2007/01/masterly-inactivity/#comment-22116 This is a great article. I know I would not have understood it as well B.C. (before children) as I do now after making so many of those mistakes. I'm sure a lot of what she's saying would have gone over my head if I'd read this as a new mother, especially since I was so much more formulaic in my thinking back then and thought I had it all together. (Oh, please.) It's really tough sometimes to strike the right balance between being vigilant vs. being relaxed (both in moral & safety supervision and just everyday homey activity). I've been trying to focus more on this the last couple of years but haven't been anywhere near as consistent as I'd like. One of our children is acutely hyperactive and this, also, has affected the mood of our home over the years. I have so many thoughts about the various aspects she covered but I think I'll just quietly mull over them some more. Thanks for sharing this, Cindy. Other than Scripture, I think this article and the Reb Bradley one that made its way around the blogosphere recently are two of the most helpful and practical parenting things I've read lately. This is a great article. I know I would not have understood it as well B.C. (before children) as I do now after making so many of those mistakes. I’m sure a lot of what she’s saying would have gone over my head if I’d read this as a new mother, especially since I was so much more formulaic in my thinking back then and thought I had it all together. (Oh, please.)

It’s really tough sometimes to strike the right balance between being vigilant vs. being relaxed (both in moral & safety supervision and just everyday homey activity). I’ve been trying to focus more on this the last couple of years but haven’t been anywhere near as consistent as I’d like. One of our children is acutely hyperactive and this, also, has affected the mood of our home over the years. I have so many thoughts about the various aspects she covered but I think I’ll just quietly mull over them some more.

Thanks for sharing this, Cindy. Other than Scripture, I think this article and the Reb Bradley one that made its way around the blogosphere recently are two of the most helpful and practical parenting things I’ve read lately.

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