Ok, I am going to take a short break from notes to beg you to go over and read Dr Richard Hawley’s article, [1] A Man’s Life: When Men Are Free to be Good. Richard Hawley was the Circe Institute’s Paideia prize winner this year.

As a mother of 8 boys, the first sentence reached out and grabbed me.

The most passionate working men, the most devoted fathers and husbands, the men most willing to serve without material reward, have been those who, as schoolboys, were most inclined to press safe boundaries.

Both of my older boys pressed safe boundaries and we let them. I can’t tell you the frustration other parents expressed to us as we let our boys grow up. When our 18 yos moved to NJ and then Ft Lauderdale in order to do what God had clearly called him to do, we faced opposition. When our son drove off into a hurricane we wondered if we were crazy. According to all the current principles of raising sons, we were insane. To tell the truth it was extremely difficult to let go of our sons but it had to be done. Hindsight is helpful. Both of my older boys are thriving Christian men, while many of their peers are still living at home, asking dad if they can go to the movies. It is not rebellious for a son to desire to make his way in the world. You won’t read a biography of a great man where that didn’t occur. We should not let fear drive our relationships.

We have, by no means, arrived in our raising of sons. It is a tricky business in this culture. A mother’s best tool is prayer. Her worst fear should not be that her boys will get hurt or dirty but that she will be what Andrew Kern calls a helicopter mom, hovering over her children, most especially her sons.