Mon 1 May 2006
I moved this note from Timothy from the comment section to this post.
Hey Y’all,
Thanks so much for all the prayers. I am sipping on coffee at my Cousin Jeff’s house, trying to reconcile the past few weeks. One thing is certain, God is in control, he led me through so much, and I am thankful to have had the opportunity to train with some of the toughest guys in the world. Last night I made a promise to myself to go as hard as I could until I knew I wasn’t able to be an asset to my Boat crew. Breakout was crazy there was LOUD machine gun fire everywhere, and bombs going off. Every instructor in BUD’s was out there screaming and shooting off weapons; it was awesome. After that we were sent to the water for surf torture, and I knew right away I wasn’t where I needed to be. My body usually is able to handle cold fairly well, but I was jackhammering almost immediately, and could not stop. Later on when we started log p.t. it got worse, I was not able to keep up, barely able to hold my arms over my head, let alone hold up my end of the log. The instructors singled me out right away, and rightly so, they could see I was hurting my b.c. and they were right. We started doing lunges and God knows I was putting out with everything I had, but on this night it wasn’t enough. About 50 lunges in I could barely stand, and was trembling all over, I rang out. On one hand I question myself, knowing that everyone out there was hurting, why was I not able to perform like I normally do? Should I have just sucked it up, and kept going, maybe with food in the next hour I would have been rejuvenated. But honestly I did the right thing. I fought, fought hard,and wasn’t able to complete the training. I quit, but deep down the shame of that is tempered with the fact that I did the best I could, and it wasn’t good enough. God’s has given me a peace that he will show me what is next, and I greatly appreciate those who have prayed and prayed for me. David and the rest of my Boat Crew except for Trueheart(he quit as well) are out there still. Those guys need prayer, please continue to lift them up. On a final note…..Man it is good to be warm….Timothy
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Timothy,
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!”
–Rudyard Kipling
You are a man my son–I am extremely proud of you Papa
Comment by Tim (May 1, 2006 @ 9:04 pm )
Bro, I know you got what it takes. It takes a lot of character to step out rather than to selfishly have the other guys pull your end.
Hey, now you can come down here to Fort Lauderdale. =)
Comment by Nick (May 1, 2006 @ 10:40 pm )
You ran the race set before you with perseverance
and I believe the Lord is saying with a huge grin on his face: Well done, Timothy, my good and faithful servant!
However, the race is not over yet … and, I’m excited to see where the Lord continues to guide you!
prayers and blessing,
julie
Comment by julie (May 2, 2006 @ 7:25 am )
Well done! Your story is an inspiration. You are a hero to many. God bless you and the rest of your crew.
Comment by Leigh Ann (May 2, 2006 @ 8:03 am )
“Every instructor in BUD’s was out there screaming and shooting off weapons; it was awesome”
hee hee hee.
Men are awesome!
You definitely did the right thing, Timothy. Cellulitis is serious stuff.
Many moons ago, my husband, a Marine Corps Major, was going through TBS at Quantico. T’was February and we had a lot of snow. (like you - at that time he had almost no body fat) He got sick just in time for Rifle and Pistol Quals. Out in the field, shivering and coughing… Amazingly enough he failed to qualify. And he is normally an excellent marksman, by the way. (he was a competitive shooter all through high school) He was devastated. Failing to qual in TBS means you get recycled. He had to wait six weeks for the next class and then start all over again.
God was really good to us in that we got to see some of the reasons fairly quickly. Not two days after he was dropped, I fell in that VA snow and broke both bones in my left arm. (it had to be set three times - Ouch!) Had he still been training, I would have been mostly on my own. With only one working arm, it’s kinda hard to get completely dressed, tie your shoes, or even use a can opener! He was able to be with me a lot more -and that was a good thing. Plus we were newlyweds, married only 5 days before training started. We needed that little bit of relaxed time. And finally, the feel of the next class was just so much better. He went from having an officer who despised religion to having a Christian CO. We went from wives who were not friendly at all, to a great group of ladies.
And although he was very worried about the event’s affecting his future - it doesn’t even appear in his record…
All will be well. And you rock - for a Navy guy! (hee hee hee - that is totally just a joke)
Comment by blestwithsons (May 2, 2006 @ 9:18 am )
“I quit, but deep down the shame of that is tempered with the fact that I did the best I could, and it wasn’t good enough.” (For Me too)
Timothy,
I have no idea who you are. A woman from my congregation in Columbus sent me this post and said she thought of me. I’m glad she did.
13 years ago I was at Bud/s, Classes 181 & 182 (respectively), and I got rolled out. Stress fractures in both my legs and for someone who was an athlete his whole life and succeeded in all of them this was a HUGE BLOW to my ego. Difference is, I was not a believer.
But God had BIGGER & BETTER plans for my life.. bigger & better than I could’ve ever dreamed.
Had I had made it through, I would’ve never started bodybuilding to try and get back to heath, never met my wife on Sub Base in Point Loma, never had my 2 Daughters, never moved out of San Diego to Va. Beach, and never meeting my friend Richie @ 5 am in a Gold’s Gym in Va. Beach, who would’ve never had the opportunity to preach the gospel to me, which in turn would mean that I never accepted it, never became a believer, never went to seminary, my now 10 year old daughter never excepting Jesus Christ at age 6, and now me never reaching Young people with the gospel of Jesus Christ @ Mountview Baptist Church in Columbus, Ohio.
I’m sooooo glad “I” failed.
Brother, keep pressing on towards the “upward call” on your life…Never forget there’s a BIGGER & BETTER plan if we humble ourselves and let God lead our lives.
Pastor Brian Minnes
Youth & Young Adult Pastor
Mountview Baptist Church
Comment by Pastor Brian Minnes (May 2, 2006 @ 11:13 am )
Timothy,
What a joy (and an encouragement) to see how mature you’ve become over the years. God has done a mighty work in your life, and He has used BUDS as part of that maturing process. As the gentlemen above implied, God has planned your future and knows where you are going. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…”
Comment by Linda (May 3, 2006 @ 7:34 am )
God is good. Thank-you all again for being so encouraging:o) Mrs. Murphy, I am still a little boy at heart, and you can tell all of the
Murphy clan that they still wouldn’t have a chance in Capture the flag!
Brother Brian, your story is inspirational; it is good to hear from other men who understand failure. I was watching Batman Begins and heard a great quote: when Bruce falls into a pit and bats a flying all around him, he is terrified. Later on after being rescued, safe and sound in bed his father asks him a question: “Bruce, why do we fall?” The answer is so we can pick ourselves up. Obviously a little humanism thrown in, but the point remains that through failure and falling we become better people. “His strength is perfect when ours is gone.”
Mrs. Blestwithsons, most Navy guys are terrible people so I am glad that I am alright!!
Thanks again for the prayers….UH those guys are still out there freezing cold…Keep them lifted up…Tim
Comment by Timothy (May 3, 2006 @ 12:57 pm )
Timothy, I found this website while searching on the net for anything Bud/s related. Were you in class 259 that is currently in Hellweek? I have a son in that class and I’m worried sick. I can’t imagine what it must be like in there. I probably should stop watching my Class 234 DVD and making myself sicker. All I can really do is pray for him at his point.
I hope you are doing better now.
Comment by Mary (May 3, 2006 @ 3:22 pm )
Glad to hear from you, Mary. Yes, 259 was Timothy’s class. I can tell you there are a lot of people praying for that class and the men who remain.
We will keep praying for your son.
I have my Class 234 DVD’s also. After I watched the first one I called and apologized to Timothy for not knowing what he was going through really.
Comment by Cindy (May 3, 2006 @ 3:29 pm )
What’s your son’s last name?? I’ll find out what I can..Tim
Comment by Timothy (May 3, 2006 @ 6:08 pm )
Tim, his last name is George and he’s from Massachusetts. I know he’s good friends with a guy named Blake, which I believe is a first name. I’d really appreciate anything you know. He started out hellweek with a sinus infection. He told me there were alot of guys with cellulitus, which is another concern. I hoping it’s safe to assume if I have not heard from him yet he’s still there??? I am going crazy just waiting to hear from him. I keep checking on line for the the weather out there and it looks rainy. Any info you can give me I’d be grateful. And to you, I wish you the best in your military life, and I’m sure your family is very proud of you.
Mary
Comment by Mary (May 4, 2006 @ 8:11 am )
Mary,
George was in Timothy’s boat crew and I had him on my list of guys to pray for this week. He told me he thought George was from Mass.
Anyway, only 2 days left, which isn’t much consolation, is it? But as you said, no news is good news.
Comment by Cindy (May 4, 2006 @ 8:19 am )
Mary,
Don’t worry too much about George, he is hard as nails. Blake was in my boat crew to, and they are both still in training unless something happened in the last med-check this morning to roll them..No news is good news. Damon has done outstanding in everything BUD’s has thrown at him so far, and I am sure Hell has been no different. You will get a call from him tomorrow morning saying he’s made it through…Tim
Comment by Timothy (May 4, 2006 @ 12:15 pm )
We are so proud you Timothy! Chuck and I will be happy if our boys turn out half as tough and godly as you. May the Lord bless you and keep you! Mrs. G.
Comment by Sandy (May 5, 2006 @ 7:10 am )
Mary,
Let us know when you hear from your son.
Comment by Cindy (May 5, 2006 @ 3:47 pm )
I’ve enjoyed eavesdropping.
I’m looking forward to hearing the news.
Comment by Janet (May 5, 2006 @ 5:32 pm )
Hi Cindy, I got a call from Damon about 6:00PM Friday night and he made it to the end. His voice was quite hoarse and I think he was running on adrenalin. He said he doesn’t remember alot of it after the first day. He says he’d never want to do it again!! He did say they had one of the best boat crews and were often awarded with “little nap” for winning races. His legs are very chafed, and he has some back pain, but other than than he seemed okay. He called me again yesterday and was at the mall, so he can’t be in too much pain. He went to Denny’s with Blake, his buddy who was in the same boat crew as Tim, and they gorged themselves with the all you can eat buffet!! Needless to say we are all very proud of Damon. He barely made it out of high school and only because of sports was he forced to keep his grades up, and was heading in the wrong direction before he went in the Navy. Once he went thru bootcamp, he became much more focused and self deciplined…probably should of sent him when he was 15!! Anyway, he just needed to find his niche in life, and I think getting away from some of his old buddies and going in the military was just what he needed.
He was so suprised when I told him about chatting with you and Tim. He said he really likes Tim and was sorry to see him leave but said he realized that he had been sick with the strep and cellutis right before “hellweek” and knew that was a tough way to start. He said he hopes to get to see Tim again soon, as he said he’s a “great guy” Will Tim stay in San Diego?
I really appreciate having this opportunity to share in this together with you all. And any prayers you sent Damons way are greatly appreciated!! My best to you all.
Regards,
Mary
Comment by Mary (May 7, 2006 @ 9:21 am )
I was watching class 234 on TV just now and I swear that I saw a guys face that I went to basic with. His last name is Creedican. Does that sound familiar at all.
Comment by EM1 Hartson (August 7, 2006 @ 1:30 am )