Thu 2 Mar 2006
This morning I sat down to have my “devotions” in my usual place, looked out through the lace curtain and was confronted with a Bradford pear in full bloom. Now is the time of year that I keep the curtain open next to the computer. I do not want to miss one Bradford pear moment. I am almost glad I have errands to run today, which says a lot because I will usually go to great lengths to stay home.
Speaking of which, very soon I will have another excuse to stay home. Nathaniel is 16 today and will soon be driving alone, not that anyone ever gets to go anywhere alone around here. Today Nathaniel and I went shopping for cleats. Then I humored our shared addiction for Starbucks. He got a white chocolate mocha and I got a cinnamon dulce latte. I shared with him my thoughts on his having a birthday the same day the Bradford pears bloom and he shared with me his thoughts on how so many homeschooled boys are kinda sissified. We discussed Calvinism and gossipped about other members of our family. Fun.
Now for the real party with cake, ice cream & coffee. Hopefully, I will drink coffee while everyone else eats cake. Let them.
Nathaniel of the Goofy Grin
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Cindy, be sure to share any thoughts or ideas you or your son have on how not to have “sissified homeschooled boys”.
I told my mother-in-law this morning that I have never been in charge of a nation like Solomon; but, I think mothers need at least that much wisdom! It really stresses my when I think about it. And the scary part is that my oldest is not even nine yet!
Comment by Laura (March 2, 2006 @ 3:41 pm )
Cinnamon Dolce Latte = yummmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Denise (March 2, 2006 @ 10:24 pm )
Laura,
I think a lot of factors contribute to this. Usually the oldest son is Mama’s little darling. She thinks he is the greatest kid ever and the smartest. He is in a little pond with nothing to compare himself to.
My son thinks they don’t go outside enough and that their mothers worry too much about the weather and if they are playing dangerously. Obviously this doesn’t mean they should be allowed to be duffers. Many homeschooling moms are controlling women and that is not good for sons. A mother of sons needs to have a lot of STRENGTH but she doesn’t need to be controlling. A litte Calvinism helps.
With my oldest we erred on the side of not taking up for him when others criticized him. Later we thought this was a parenting mistake. This year he came to us and said he appreciated that and felt we erred on the right side of the issue. Many a young man is ruined by his Mama always taking up for him.
Many parents shun sports in favor or “work” but then never really find enough work for their sons to do. The addiction of video games keeps boys indoors when they should be out.
Sometimes, in the right time and place, sports help the homeschool boy to put himself into the right light. He may dream of being the big homerun hitter but other boys are good ball players, too. That is a good realization. Many times when my boys get together with other homeschooled boys, the homeschooled boys automatically assume they will be good at anything or any sport. The reality is very different.But sometimes there is a disconnect between what takes place and how a boys perceives himself. Playing with others helps a boy sort through that. A boy’s competitive edge is not something evil and shouldn’t be discouraged by moms who think everyone should just be nice.
A man can compete and get intense and not feel emotional towards his opponent. Just because a woman can’t do that doesn’t mean she should disrespect that ability.
Comment by Cindy (March 3, 2006 @ 11:41 am )
Cindy,
Such good comments. When I read yesterday that you and Nathan were discussing sissified homeschoolers I almost commented right away, because my 16 year old son recently talked to me about the same thing. I do think sports have been a big part of what has helped my son to mature, but sports seem to be so taboo among many homeschoolers, so not wanting to open a can of worms I didn’t say anything. I think Nathan hit it very correctly about going outside. We know a family who will not let their sons play sports outside when it is too hot, too cold, etc. (these are teenagers) They are so restricted that they turned to video games. I then had to restrict my son from being with them as much because all they could do was play videos games and I didn’t want my son to become as addicted as them.
I realize that sports has its own issues, but they have been a wonderful vehicle for our son.
Laura - I think Doug Wilson’s book Future Men has some good thoughts.
Comment by Kim (March 3, 2006 @ 12:27 pm )